Tidal change

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Waves thrashing,

The storm was roaring 

And I was in the thick of it.

I’ve lost my board .

My limbs weak without air  

It wasn’t that that I gave him into the fight

But as I’ve learn learned in the martial arts of living,

And training

Sometimes to fight through something 

You have to take it in and absorb the force

And if you don’t,

It will absorb you .

So desperately 

I called upon the learned wisdom,

And the current took me to the calmer depth below.

Cold and dark,

It wasn’t less frightening,

But i was beneath the chaos.

My lungs out of air,

I was told that I needed to surrender

To heal

So I said OK I surrender

But I could not will surrender to come.

It will come , voices said

But when I asked. I’m ready.

It will come when you’re ready.

I’m ready I said. Please. I surrender. 

But it did not come.

I fought. Held on.